Thoughts on Triplets & Related Matters
by lostcowgirl
Summary: Matt & Kitty's thoughts & actions during and after the Baker's Dozen episode from Season 13


**Thoughts on Triplets and Related Matters**

The scenes, which are from the middle and end of the Baker's Dozen episode from Season 13, use some of the actual dialog by way of introduction. The final section is an epilog.

"Well, the way this one eats, he's gonna grow up to be as big as you are, " Kitty said as she handed Matt the baby so she could tend to the bottle warming on Doc's stove.

"He sure is something," Matt thought, with a gentle smile on his face, while looking down at the small baby he held in the crook of his arm with his head resting in the palm of his hand. "Even as tiny as he is I reckon he looks like he could be ours. With that red fuzz on his head and those bright blue eyes I can picture him as my son – our son. Somehow, I don't mind Kitty handing him to me. It sorta feels right. Maybe someday we will have one of our own, but not until after I hand in my badge for good. I know Kitty would love that."

"Matt seemed willing to take the baby, but let me just see how he's doing with him," she thought as she turned with the now warm bottle to face her man. "He's acting as any father would holding his son. Just look at that smile and how gently and lovingly he's cradling that baby in the crook of his arm. What a wonderful father he could be to our children. It does make me smile, but I don't know when he'll ever put our lives together ahead of that badge," she continued to muse as a few tears came to her eyes, which she fought to hold back. "As Doc once put it when we were coming back from delivering a baby, 'Why don't you get that overgrown public servant of yours to stop playing with guns and buy a little land where the two of you can raise things.' I made a joke of it then, but when will he be ready to do just that? Until he does, we can't have that home and family."

"I think I know. Some people have an infinite capacity for love," Kitty said in response to Festus' question days later as they watched the Ronigers leave town with the triplets they'd adopted bringing their children to 13, unaware that Matt was looking at her with that warm, loving smile.

"There's another person standing next to me with that infinite capacity to love," Matt mused. "She's got to help everyone who's in trouble. If you're in need, Kitty is more than willing to help. It's part of the reason I love her despite knowing I shouldn't be involved with anyone while I wear this badge. I only wish I could say when I'll be able to give her what her heart desires most. I saw how satisfied she was when the two of us were with that baby. Maybe someday we'll care for our own baby…"

That night Matt returned to the Long Branch when he finished the last of his rounds just as Sam left for the night, leaving Kitty to lock the doors. He and the marshal nodded to each other as they passed.

Matt slid the bolt home securing the doors in place while Kitty poured each of them a brandy nightcap. They gazed into each other's eyes, saying nothing, as they finished their drinks and Kitty rinsed out the glasses. Climbing the stairs arms wrapped around each other's waist, still not speaking, they reached her rooms and closed the door. Matt hung his hat and gun belt on the pegs by the door. He walked over to the bed they shared and sat down to pull off his boots and put his badge on the nightstand while Kitty sat at her dressing table taking off her jewelry and combing out her hair.

"Cowboy, do you think you might help a girl out of her dress and corset? It just might, could be there's something in it for you. That is, if you plan to spend the night."

"If you put it like that, I'll try to be of some use to you in your time of need," Matt replied as he padded over to her in his socks, his shirttails already pulled out from his pants. "Of course, this comes under the category of extra services provided only to a very special friend of the marshal who has red hair falling down her back."

Before long they helped each other shed their remaining clothes and made their way back across the room to the big brass bed. Kitty snuggled up to Matt while he gently stroked her. As he pulled her head toward his for the first deep kiss of the night, she surrendered to the passion that engulfed them. When that passion was spent, they both lay back against the headboard, their bodies still pressed together.

Matt wanted another go round but was too spent at the moment to indulge in it. Instead, he caressed Kitty's breasts with his left hand while thinking back to earlier in the day when she watched the Ronigers leave for their farm and he watched her. He felt her respond to his touch by gently running the fingers of her right hand up and down his spine and wondered why did this woman with so much love to give the world choose to give the bulk of it to him? Most things between them didn't require words, but he felt he had to say something now.

"Kitty, you're not just the most remarkable woman I've ever known, you're the most remarkable person. Despite all my efforts to keep my distance, I can't. Although I just told you why I need you, for the life of me I can't fathom how I let it get started, and that's a fact. I love and need you, but why do you stick with me? You know with my responsibilities and all, I'm not cut out to be a family man."

"Oh, is that a fact? I'll have you know Cowboy that beneath that all business emotionless exterior you present to the world beats the heart of a man full of the need to both give and receive love. It's what drives you to take the chances you do. It underpins your sense of justice and your duty to see that it's carried out. It's why you chose to be a lawman and why you're so good at it. Your problem is you can't see there's also room for your personal happiness beyond the badge. I saw that part of you when I watched you holding that baby. It made me smile, but then it made me sad because I know you won't let yourself give in to the love and tenderness you hold inside. Even with me, you only allow short glimpses of it after years of me wearing you down. Maybe some day I'll penetrate that barrier you've put between yourself and those around you. I keep wondering how I can get you to let go of whatever or whoever hurt you so badly that you're afraid to open up fully again."

"I reckon you're kind of right, but the barrier isn't because I'm afraid to open up. It's because the job I chose, which you tell me suits me perfectly, is too chancy to allow me to marry and raise a family. We've been over this before, I don't want to leave a widow and orphans or put them in danger because of who I am even if that potential widow is a remarkable redhead who's perfectly capable of raising those orphans on her own. Honey, if you weren't so special you wouldn't have agreed to accept our relationship as it has to be, close but hidden. I won't be happy, but if the right man comes along who can provide the home and family you need I won't stand in your way."

"Hidden, from whom? If you can't see that all of Dodge and at least half of Kansas knows how we feel about each other. They see how we look at each other, especially after we've been away, and expect us to come together to social events. Even strangers can see it, if they're observant enough. You're the only one who can't see I'd be in no more danger if we were married then I already am. I don't care about the danger. As to any children we might have, we've enough good friends that we can hide them if need be. The danger's there whether or not we're married. I love you Cowboy, but sometimes I get so frustrated by you holding off on proposing until that far off someday and some place when you think it will be safe that I just might leave you for a man who's willing to provide the home for me to raise a family. Trouble is, you wouldn't stand in my way! You'd accept it and be miserable because you love me too much prevent my happiness. Then there's your stubborn pride. You can admit all sorts of mistakes, but not that Adam Kimbro's advice back when you first became his deputy is wrong. If your mentor was wrong in that then you might have to admit you're wrong about certain other beliefs he reinforced. You follow the trail of evidence in everything else, but not when it comes to marriage. Deep down you know I'm right, that's why you get so embarrassed every time I tease you about it," Kitty concluded as she turned away from him to go to sleep.

"Kitty, I'm sorry. I don't want to fight after tonight started so well. I wish I could make myself believe what you're saying. Doc in his way has told me the same thing. I'm just not ready to accept my fears for you and the chancy nature of my job don't matter in the end. Will you at least kiss me goodnight?"

Kitty turned to see Matt's pleading little boy look and gave in to a goodnight kiss. The kiss turned into a goodnight embrace and the embrace into something more as his fingers found the right spots to stroke and his lips other similar spots to caress. He entered her and when both of them were spent, they shared a final goodnight kiss before falling into a deep sleep wrapped in each other's arms.


End file.
